a reason to pause

Amidst the blinding chaos that my life has been the last few weeks with the marching band about to leave on their 12 day trip out east (departed safely and on time yesterday) - increased work time, lack of sleep and whatever else went flashing by in my life that I could not attend to, I got an e-mail from my cousin about two weeks ago... We think of closure as something that closes a door, heals all, and swiftly takes us back to whatever "normal" is...

When you lose a child, that is nigh onto impossible, I cannot fathom the difficulty, the pain, the anguish. Some of you may recall, from 360 land, that my aforementioned cousin, my godmother, lost her son, a 36 year old pilot for the state DNR, in April 2009 in a plane crash whilst he was spotting a grass fire while on duty. To say the least, it was devastating. He left behind his wife and two little boys. The reason that his mom contacted me was that they wanted to include his bio in memorial to fallen firefighters which will be published later this year.

So amidst everything else, I agreed to do that. It was due today... so when the buses pulled out yesterday, I came home and set about the task of remembering Heath. I had written his obit, so I didn't want to do that again - I wanted to immortalize him. What you read is what came forth, I guess something that sits in my brain for ten days or so, can finally come forth when called upon. His mom and his wife loved it, and that is all that matters to me. Take a moment, hug and squeeze all those who are precious to you, and take a minute to remember those who make the ultimate sacrifice for us. Heath died while helping to safeguard our land. I still miss him, his wife, his little boys, his whole family, trudge on with huge holes in their hearts.

I just want to share a little sliver from an awesome life.

Heath

Department of Natural Resources – Wisconsin
Pilot
Date of Death: April 8, 2009
Age: 36

It’s been more than a year, but the pain of loss is just as fresh. The disbelief that someone who could live so fully and completely could be taken from us in the blink of an eye, is not one ounce less than the first moment we learned that he was gone. On April 8, 2009 a star truly fell from the sky, as Heath’s stay among us was cut far too short. That we are richer for having had him here for as long as we did there is no doubt, our memories are fond of the fullness of his life - his love for his family – his wife Jenny, son, Matt and Brett, his parents, brothers and extended family, and his genuine calm, smiling nature will stay with us and inspire us always…

Heath was a pilot, and he left us living the passion of flight. He was spotting a grass fire for the Wisconsin DNR, it could not be more appropriate that one of the true pleasures of his life was what ushered him from this life. The only passion that surpassed flying - was for Jenny and the boys. Had he his choice, of course he and Jenny would have taken great joy in spending many years together, watching their boys grow to honorable manhood.
There was a time in our country's history when people served their fellow man because they could do no other. Part of Heath's DNA was that if it involved flying, he believed that any risk was manageable, and that he could not imagine life that did not include flying. Working for the DNR allowed him to merge two of his great passions - his love of nature, and the feeling of peace and fulfillment that he felt when flying. A semi-famous letter from a soldier involved in the US Civil War to his wife, written in 1861 captures this sentiment "I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter..." And that captures Heath as well - if it involved flying, he knew he could handle many kinds of situations, and was therefore willing to accept some of the perils of that pursuit in exchange for the exhilaration that came with soaring above the earth...
His love for Jenny and the boys is deathless, and it bound him to earth as much as anything could… but there was that irresistible need to breathe in the sky, that washed over him like a strong wind, and though he used his skill and talents to serve others, there can be no doubt that his last thoughts were Jenny and the boys. Is it any wonder that when his family went back to fly over the site of his last flight, he found it necessary to show us that his spirit will always be carried upon the wind.